Don't be a dick!
You ever notice how someone will scream bloody murder about a lie — unless it’s told by their best friend, their favorite politician, or their damn grandma? Yeah, that’s the flaming heart of this entire mess. We’re not moral creatures by default — we’re tribal animals with Wi-Fi. And when loyalty comes knockin’, ethics quietly … Read more
Let me hit you with a hard f#%kin’ truth right out the gate: convenience is a sneaky little bastard. It shows up wearing a smile, whispering sweet nothings like “you deserve this” and “treat yo’ self.” And before you know it, your bank account is crying, your closet is stuffed with bullsh*t, and Jeff Bezos … Read more
Let’s get this out of the way right now: Billy F#%&in’ Ocean doesn’t get nearly the respect he deserves. The man is a damn vibe machine, a sonic therapist in a suit, and the unsung soundtrack to everything from late-night makeout sessions to pulling your life out of a flaming dumpster fire. You think I’m … Read more
The Antichrist. You’ve seen the movies. Read the books. Maybe you even spent your teenage years quietly freaking the f#%& out that a one-world government was gonna chip your neck and make you eat Doritos for Satan. But here’s the thing: the real Antichrist isn’t waiting in the wings for some global debut. He’s already … Read more
Alright, listen up, you condiment-stained chaos gremlins: this debate has gone on long enough. I don’t care what your grandpappy said while holding a spatula and crying over a grill—a hot dog is a f#%&ing sandwich. Not a cousin. Not a “unique food vehicle.” A. Damn. Sandwich. If that gets your apron in a twist, … Read more
Let’s get one thing clear right the f#%& now: if you think people in America are supposed to prove their innocence when charged with something, you either slept through civics class or you’ve been tongue-bathing too many fascist propaganda memes on Facebook. Either way, you’re f#%&ing wrong. And just so we’re clear, yes, REDACTED, I’m talking about you. … Read more
Alright, you curious little weirdo, you wanna know about frog butts? Let’s f#%king go. At first glance, you might not think frogs have much of an a$$—more like a smooth, continuous back-half situation. But trust me, their booties are a goddamn marvel of evolutionary engineering. We’re talking about power, function, and some truly bizarre biological … Read more
You’re Boring as H#LL, and It’s Ruining Your Happiness Remember when you were a kid and could have the time of your life with a cardboard box? Then adulthood happened, and suddenly, fun became a luxury, not a necessity. Instead of playing, you’re “networking.” Instead of goofing off, you’re “optimizing your schedule.” Instead of having … Read more