Wait… I’m What Now?! So, you think you’re solid? That when you smack your hand on a table, it’s one solid thing hitting another solid thing? Yeah, NOPE. What’s actually happening is a bunch of tiny, mostly-empty particles in your hand repelling a bunch of tiny, mostly-empty particles in the table—and that’s what makes it feel solid.
Here’s the shocking truth: The atoms that make up everything—your body, your phone, your favorite burrito—are 99.9999999% empty space. That means if you took away all that nothingness and squished all the actual stuffin your body together, you’d be so tiny you could fit inside a grain of salt. Let that sink in.
So how the f^%k do we not just pass through walls and fall through the floor? How do we even exist if we’re mostly nothing? Let’s break this s#*t down.
Atomic Structure: The Teeny Tiny B@st@rds That Make You, You
Every single thing in the universe is made of atoms, which are so f^%king small that a single human hair is about 500,000 atoms wide.
Each atom has three main parts:
- Protons – These little positive-charged b@st@rds hang out in the center (nucleus).
- Neutrons – Same deal, but no charge. They just chill with the protons.
- Electrons – Tiny, negatively charged particles that zip around the nucleus at insane speeds.
Now, here’s where s#t gets crazy: The nucleus (the part with actual stuff in it) is *a hundred thousand times smaller than the atom itself. And the electrons? They don’t even orbit like tiny planets around the sun—that’s some old-school, wrong-as-hell science.
Electrons exist as probability clouds—weird, fuzzy zones where they might be at any given moment. So, yeah, not only are you mostly empty space, but even the tiny bits of you that aren’t empty don’t have a definite position most of the time. WHAT THE ACTUAL F^%K.
Why the F^%k Don’t We Fall Through the Floor?
If atoms are mostly empty, and everything is made of atoms, shouldn’t we just phase through walls like ghosts?
Great question, you curious motherf^%ker. Here’s why we don’t:
- Electromagnetic Repulsion
- Electrons have negative charges, and just like two magnets with the same charge, they f^%king hate getting too close to each other.
- When your hand “touches” a table, the electrons in your hand repel the electrons in the table, creating the illusion of solidity.
- So technically, when you sit in a chair, you’re actually hovering an atomic hair’s width above it, never truly touching it.
- Quantum Rules Are Weird as S#*t
- Ever heard of the Pauli Exclusion Principle? Basically, it says electrons can’t be in the exact same quantum state as other electrons.
- This stops atoms from collapsing into each other, which is why you don’t just fall right through the f^%king floor like a bad video game glitch.
So… Are We Even Real?
This is where s#t gets deep. If we’re mostly empty space, and our electrons don’t even have definite locations, then *what the hell even is “solid” reality?
Well, the answer is a little unsettling: Reality is just how our brains interpret interactions between atoms.
- You feel solid because electromagnetic forces make it seem that way.
- You look solid because light bounces off electron clouds.
- You exist because quantum physics allows particles to have stability.
But in the grand scheme of things, everything we know is just forces and interactions, not actual “solid” stuff. Mind. F^%king. Blown.
Okay, But What If We Removed All the Empty Space?
Let’s say we took every single human on Earth—all 8 billion of us—and removed the empty space in our atoms. How much space would we take up?
About the size of a sugar cube.
I s#*t you not. All of humanity, compressed down to just the matter inside our atoms, would fit in a f^%king sugar cube.
So next time someone tells you “You’re not that special,” just remind them you’re literally 99.9999999% nothing—and that’s pretty f^%king special.
FAQ: You’ve Got Questions, I’ve Got Answers
1. If we’re mostly empty space, could we walk through walls?
Technically, yes, but also no. Quantum physics allows for the possibility, but the odds of it happening are so ridiculously low that you’d have to wait longer than the age of the universe to randomly phase through a door. So yeah, don’t stop using doorknobs just yet.
2. If atoms are mostly empty, how come we can see things?
Because what we see is light bouncing off the electron clouds around atoms. Your eyes don’t see “solid” objects—they see the light that objects reflect. Your whole f^%king perception of reality is just light tricks.
3. Could science ever compress people down to remove empty space?
H#LL NO. You’d have to overcome forces so strong that it would take the power of a collapsing star to squish you into a neutron-star-like state. And at that point, you’d be very dead.
4. Does this mean I’m just a hologram?
Not exactly, but the idea that reality is just energy interactions and not truesolidity does make life feel a little Matrix-y, doesn’t it?
5. Can I use this fact to pick up dates at the bar?
Abso-f^%king-lutely. Hit ‘em with, “Did you know you’re 99.9999999% empty space? But don’t worry, I’m still very attracted to your electrons.” Science = sexy. You’re welcome.
Don’t Be a D!ck
At the end of the day, you’re a walking cloud of tiny, zipping particles, held together by forces so bizarre that even physicists barely understand them. Reality is f^%king weird.
But here’s the takeaway: If something as fragile and improbable as us can exist, maybe we should appreciate the weird-ass miracle that is life—and be decent to each other.
So go forth, you magnificent bag of mostly nothing, and don’t be a d!ck.